Bromley FC

11 Mar

Hayes Lane, Bromley

Blue Square South

6 March 2012

Bromley 1 v Staines Town 1 (att 233)

Team talk. Bromley FC was founded in 1892 and has the honour of being one of the earlier entrants to the Isthmian League by playing in only its fourth season (1908/09) . Bromley won the league in that year and again in 1909/10, 1953/54, and 1960/61. Bromley’s wilderness years (or a season to be more precise) is the subject of Dave Roberts’ book “The Bromley Boys”. The book is basically the authors account of the 1969/70 Isthmian League season where Bromley finished bottom of the league having been beaten 31 times and conceded 111 goals. The book has the subtitle of “the true story of supporting the worst football team in Britain”, which is why I imagine it is nowhere to be seen in the Bromley club shop. Bromley Boys is a recommended read as, whilst set in the 1960’s, some of the experiences will definitely strike a chord with any football fan who has trailed stupid distances to stand in the cold with 20-30 other people and watch their team get pumped. Non readers can fear not, a film of the book is rumoured and Bradley Pitts has already signed up to play Dave Roberts.

As noted in Bromley Boys, the team’s record attendance (which still stands) at Hayes Lane is of note. This is a game in 1949 when 10’000 people crowded in to watch Bromley play a Nigeria select eleven. Nigeria beat Bromley 3-1 with many of the visitors players choosing to play the game with bare feet. The post of the Nigeria tour from the ever fascinating Hamlet Historian (AKA Jack Mcinroy) is well worth a read for more details on this.

Recent years saw Bromley promoted from the Isthmian Premier to the Conference South as play off winners in 2006/07. Since promotion they have consolidated their position in the Conference South. The 2011/12 season has not been a good one so far for Bromley. At the start of play today they were looming close to the relegation zone. Their opponents, Staines Town, were in a similar position. This meant that the game had the air of the mathematically improbable 6 pointer about it.

Park the bus. Bromley’s stadium on Hayes Lane is approx 15 minutes walk from Bromley South Station – easily accessible from town by trains that take about 15 minutes from London Victoria.

Home advantage. The stadium is approached up a narrow road off the main Hayes Lane. Walking past the stables close to the ground gives it an almost rural setting that may I imagine has not changed much since Dave Roberts’ days.

Through the main turnstile (£12 in for an adult) you are confronted with a small shed/stable that slightly resembles a Punch and Judy booth where the programmes are sold (£2.50).

That's the way to do it.

One of the most likeable things about Hayes Lane is the variety of standing/seating positions to watch the game, each offering a slightly different perspective.

Those wanting elevation and maximum exposure to the elements should head to the east side. Standing at the top of the concrete steps that run the length of this side, with no cover or solid fence dividing the ground from the open fields beyond gives you a great view of the game but leaves you massively open to the gales that blow across the ground. Warning – this is one of the coldest parts of Hayes Lane, and that’s really saying something as Bromley is one of the coldest grounds I have been to.

East side

For those wanting cover, a closer view of the game, and perhaps a bit of nostalgia – head for the south end. Here you’ll find covered seating across the end of the pitch that is close to the action. You also get to sit on some really characterful (if not at all comfortable) timber benches. The opposite end is similar but with concrete steps to stand on rather than the benches.

South end

North end

If you want closeness, elevation, and access to the bars then head for the main stand on the west side. The atmosphere here is nowhere near as good as the ends (where the more vocal support tends to hang out) but you do get to hob knob with the officials who have an enclosure here (or fenced off bit to be more precise).

West stand

Hob nobbing

A top tip when visiting Bromley, particularly if the game is not so exciting, is to play the thrilling Pigeon Stands game “Spot that Sign”. The aim here is to see how many different types of safety signs you can spot dotted around the pitch. We assume from all the signs that either the people of Bromley are the most litigious in all of London or that Hayes Lane is really dangerous (maybe get some insurance before visiting). A select few are below but there are many many more to be seen.

The toilet drop

Secret Bromley ploy to slow down the opposition?

For any fans planning to scale the floodlights

This is not an exit (secret Seafood reference.. YES!)

Prawn sandwiches. Hospitality is one of the things that Bromley does very well. Bromley punches well above its weight in non league football by having two bars. There are not many places you can turn up to, as we did, to be told apologetically at the gate that there would only be one bar open that evening.

The main bar (that was open) is in the main stand and is fantastic. Very similar to the one at Dulwich Hamlet in many ways, in that it is at the upper level of the main stand and has big windows where (on cold nights like this one) you can watch the game in the warmth. A key feature of the operation of the bar itself is the organised queuing system that they have in place for getting your half time ale – far more civilised than the useful free for all and very similar to the level of bar organisation seen recently in Germany at SSV Jahn Regensburg. Ales on offer are also of great quality and include beers from the Shepherd Neame brewery.

An orderly bar

Outside there is a burger van (of course) where a bacon, egg, and cheese burger with chips can be yours for £6:50. The club shop is also well worth a visit if your looking to get kitted out or grab a mug.

Muggins

…..and the game. Turning up at the game we were surprised to see no players warming up on the pitch. We soon found out that this was because kick off was going to be delayed as the Staines players were stuck in traffic on the M25 – we were told was that kick off would be at 8:15 instead of 7:45. Once the Staines players had turned up we then heard reports that there would be further delays. The chat in the club shop (always a good place for semi correct gossip) was that Staines had turned up without kits and that the kit man was still stuck on the orbital. We heard that offers for Staines to play in Bromley’s away kit were turned down in favour of leaving everyone to wait in the cold until the their kits turned up. I’d have made the dicks play in their skins. Perhaps they’d have beaten the traffic with a better map…….

The game finally got underway at 8:45. It’s not hard to see why both teams are struggling a bit this year. Of the two, Bromley looked slightly better, fairly strong upfront and ok at the back (although Staines didn’t really challenge much) but no midfield presence to speak of. The Bromley goal came first and was the result of an awful keeper, defender rebound/mix up. Bromley continued to be the better side for the first half and most of the second – although oddly opted to remove any counter attacking threat mid second half by putting on a big fella who was not as effective at chasing the ball. We missed the Staines goal as it came late in the game and we had trains to catch, but I understand it came from a set piece (the only way Staines were ever going to score in my view). Match highlights can be found here

Man of the match. I was really impressed with the number of local kids who had missed watching Arsenal v Milan to turn out to watch Bromley. Seeing them hounding the Bromley keeper for autographs at the beginning of the game reminded me of a scene from Bromley Boys. Of course this may have been part of a ploy to falsify the signature, knick the keepers credit card, and buy trainers from JJB Sports – but I think not. The kids were also very vocal in cheering on their team and responded hillariously to a Staines player falling over by yelling “get up, are you a man or a jelly”. Bromley is in good hands with these lot.

Da Bromley Boys

Post game rub down. One of my favourite South London grounds. The football isn’t always great but the ground, atmosphere, and facilities make up for it.

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6 Responses to “Bromley FC”

  1. Graham 17 March 2012 at 11:51 pm #

    Just found this blog, very much enjoying it, and a massive plus point for the Seafood reference, if you could sneak in “When Do We Start Fighting”, “Psychic Rainy Nights” and “Led by Bison” into your photo captions before the end of the season I will buy you a cup of tea.

    • James Masini 18 March 2012 at 2:19 pm #

      Challenge accepted!

      • Graham 18 March 2012 at 6:16 pm #

        Excellent! Your tea will be available to collect at Great Wakering Rovers FC, offer available until the end of the 2012-2013 season!

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Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Cray Wanderers F.C. « Tales From The Pigeon Stands - 8 February 2013

    […] Cray currently ground share at Hayes Lane with Bromley after they were unable to meet league requirements and install floodlights at their previous ground in Oxford Road. More details about the old ground can be found on the excellent Grounds for Concern.   Eagle eyed readers of this blog will know that we have written about Hayes Lane before – a more detailed description of the ground can be found here. […]

  2. Imber Court (Met Police FC) | Tales From The Pigeon Stands - 6 May 2013

    […] returned to co-incidentally cover a Kingstonian London Senior Cup game last year. Bromley’s Hayes Lane has also received the Pigeon Stands’ treatment and we were more than a little enamoured by their fondness for signage. However, it was a previous […]

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